180707
When i came back home, i told my mum about our relationship.. she said she very worried about me as she had noticed i had never been happy ever since i left soka.. she cried while she saying this.. i feel very bad.. i cried as well.. nobody understand the stress i'm going through.. is not just only about relationship but my career, friends and etc.. my mum say i had already fall into depression.. i somehow do agree.. asking me to see a shrink.. but i rejected it as i doesn't want to spend anymore of her money.. she say she have enough but i told her to save it for her retirement.. is not for me..
I actually thought of giving up my life.. but looking at my mum like that, it breaks my heart to see her get sad and cried over me.. I doesn't know how to smile anymore.. Edwin is now dead.
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